RADIO ZERO

Your Escape From Holiday Hell

Radio Zero's Helpful Holiday Hints To Make Your Gift Shopping More Fun

* Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

* Set all of the alarm clocks in the Housewares section to go off at 5-minute intervals.

* Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

* Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official tone, 'Code 3.' Watch what happens.

* Put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

* When a clerk asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

* Look into the security camera, like a mirror, and pick your nose.

* Dart furtively around the store while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

* In the Auto department, try a "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

* Hide in a clothing rack, and when people browse through, yell "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

* When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "No! No! It's those voices again!!!!"

* Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait awhile, then yell very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"