Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Monday, May 22, 2006

Brokaw: This 'Media' Thing Is Nothing But Trouble

"You live in a world of chat rooms and web sites. You are manned with cell phones, have video on demand and games on a chip. You are exposed to high-def and low-brow. You are masters of a new universe... or are you?"

- Tom Brokaw (pictured right, with tennis partner) to graduates of the University of Florida College of Medicine.

With arched eyebrow, Brokaw then snickered derisively and said, "Progress!? Flibberty floo!!" before shaking his head and mumbling something about "wagging the dog."

"Let me put it to you this way -- country simple," he continued. "Are you feeding the beast? Or is the beast feeding off of you?"

One student broke the uneasy silence that had fallen over the room, shouting: "That sounds like something Rather would say." Pockets of nervous laughter could be heard.

Brokaw shot back: "Go ahead. Laugh. But don't be surprised when you wake up one day and find that your hand has been bitten clean off." The crowd hushed again.

Brokaw's posture strightened while he sighed heavily, pausing as he struggled to focus his gaze on some distant point. His suddenly ashen face squinted. "I have seen the trail of tears this will leave. I've seen it myself. It is a bitter, twisted, bloody trail... Corpse-strewn. You must use this power only for good. Only for good..."

Dean Terry Hynes of the University of Florida's College of Journalism and Communications later commented: "Why didn't he come talk to us?"

Thursday, May 18, 2006

But If You Look Closely...

"When he spoke again, it was to talk of pumpkins and cabbages, and after that, for he was a man of limited ideas, of cabbages and pumpkins." -- PG Wodehouse

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Chuck Norris Does Not Sleep.
He Waits.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he then uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the 'Circle of Life."

You'll find many more Chuck Norris facts here
courtesy of Sean
No, really, you had to be there