Chuck Norris Does Not Sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he then uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the 'Circle of Life."
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courtesy of Sean