Quotable Quotes

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself." ~ Ethel Barrymore

"I'll not listen to reason. Reason always means what someone else has got to say." ~ Elizabeth Gaskell

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." ~ Oscar Wilde

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you – then you win." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

"This is the true joy in life -- the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

-- George Bernard Shaw

Ramey:
(addressing a group of professional military officers) Are you a Feminist? Oh...WRONG question. I should have asked 'are you a Father?' When your daughter loses her job to a clearly less-qualified man, you will discover YOU are a feminist.

Now, I like testosterone. Every home should have some. But it becomes damaging as a man gets older. I'm trying to help men live longer, although I'm not sure all of them deserve it.

Yussef:
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial nudity!

What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes? Nothing! You told her twice already!

Now the Healing Can Begin

from a correction in Audubon

The urine of the red fox smells more like skunk musk than the urine of the gray fox, as stated in "Winter Yaps."

They Must Be Mad
from the Walden (Colorado) Jackson County Star

On August 9, a gate was left open along Highway 14 west of Walden and several head of cattle left a perfectly good pasture with some of the lushest grass in years to go stand on asphalt. Their owner was notified.

"I hope there's an animal somewhere that nobody has ever seen. And I hope nobody ever sees it."

-- Wendell Berry, quoting his daughter, in "To the Unseeable Animal."

Happiness Is...

... for idiots.

-- Charles de Gaulle

But If You Look Closely...

"When he spoke again, it was to talk of pumpkins and cabbages, and after that, for he was a man of limited ideas, of cabbages and pumpkins." -- PG Wodehouse